Brained.com - Home Page of Brian Williams

Welcome Earthlings...
to the not-so-humble homepage of

Brian "The Brain" Williams
Loveable nerd with an amazingly sharp brain, considering how frequently he bumps his head.™

This web site is dedicated to all of the mentally and intellectually gifted, yet physically and socially challenged men and women of this world. I know your struggle! I feel your pain!!! Or wait--that was just me cracking my head on the logo again. Ow!!

At any rate, I have endeavored to create a site that will entertain while stimulating your brain! Just make yourself at home while I find an icepack and go lie down for a bit. Knock yourself out.

Click here to find out what this whole "brained" thing is all about.
Click here for Frequently Asked Questions.
Click here for Brian's Famous Quotations page.

Update History:

January 17, 2024 - After achieving moderate success with some "head banging" brained.com-esque videos on Tik Tok and Facebook, I have opted to restore this glorious blast from my past and bring it back online for a bit. I am considering revamping it completely for the modern era, but that will depend on how popular the videos become.
April 22, 2013 - As part of a learning/training exercise in getting a LAMP (Linux + Apache + MySQL + PHP) server running a live site on CentOS, I created a Virtual Machine on my Ubuntu PC, installed a vanilla instance of CentOS and the necessary server components/services, locked down the security of both the servers and the services, and finally loaded up this old site and configured the services to get it up and running. I am happy to report success after a mere couple of hours!!!

Sure, I could have got it up and running a lot faster by just installing the hosting components natively in my Ubuntu system, but I went ahead and blocked this time to learn CentOS LAMP configuration for work where we will be rolling these out in a production environment for real customers... now I can chalk it up as a training exercise.

So, after being down for well over a year, my old personal site is back up for now running in my own environment. It may be badly outdated today, but it was live during some rather interesting times in my life... For anyone who happens by, enjoy and try not to laugh too hard!!
May 17, 2008 - After being down nearly a week, my site has been moved to my friend Justin Mason's personal web server, where it will hopefully remain up for awhile.
June 2, 2006 - Finally updated my headbanging journal, filling in two previously unposted entries from last year as well as adding a humdinger story from yesterday (my head still hurts).
May 16, 2006 - Moved my site to a more reliable web hosting company, Herald Hosting.
October 17, 2004 - Fixed annoying error with several links that had stopped working when I moved the site to a new server.
July 29, 2003 - Lost much of the site due to a hard drive crash on the web server. I had a few files backed up, rescued a few from my temporary internet files cache, and rescued a few more from google's cache. A lot of the functionality is lost however. So, if you get a 404 error on a link, or a page error - that is why. I am working to rebuild it, but it will take time.
July 14, 2003 - Updated the resume! Click here if you need ASP or VB programming!
February 13, 2003 - Stay tuned for 3 brand new rants - coming soon to a brained.com website near you!
January 9, 2003 - Added no-frills table of contents to site (link at bottom left) for javascript-impaired browsers and all those web spiders that keep missing my funniest material.
I'm in the search engines now! Yay!
January 5, 2003 - *FINALLY* got the guest book up and running!! It's on the interact page.
January 1, 2003 - Made birdies sound and "brain me" sound effects work in Netscape.
May 28, 2002 - Added 11 new photos to the gallery.
May 5, 2002 - Added ability to choose among three weapons and the capability of keeping track of how many times a visitor has hit me over the head to the popular "Brain Me" app.
May 4, 2002 - Added Elmo's Famous Quotations page.
March 18, 2002 - Added chirping birdies sound to seeing-stars rollover.
June 27, 2001 - Added "Elmo's Headbanging Journal" Section.
January 24, 2001 - Fixed bug with photos sections in non-frames version.
January 23, 2001 - Finally finished Weekly Rant section!!!
January 22, 2001 - Added FAQ page.
January 22, 2001 - Added "Brain Me" app.
January 18, 2001 - Added "Why Brained.com?" section.
January 17, 2001 - Added no-frames version and frames version.
November 4, 2000 - Resized page layout to fit smallest screen resolution. (640 x 480)
October 29, 2000 - Finished photos section - lots of new photos.
October 28, 2000 - Added knot-head "under construction" page. Why alter a great theme?
October 25, 2000 - Added links, software, and views sections.
October 24, 2000 - Added the about section.
October 23, 2000 - Completely new facelift for the site.