Click here for framed version
Click here for non-javascript version.

Copyright © 2000-2003
William Brian "Elmo" Williams.
All rights reserved.

Welcome Earthlings...
to the not-so-humble homepage of

Brian "Elmo" Williams
Last of the Genuine Nice Guys.™
Loveable nerd with an amazingly sharp brain, considering how frequently he bumps his head.™

This web site is dedicated to all of the mentally and intellectually gifted, yet physically and socially challenged men and women of this world.  I know your struggle!  I feel your pain!!!  Or wait--that was just me cracking my head on the logo again.  Ow!!

At any rate, I  have endeavored to create a site that will entertain while stimulating your brain!  Just make yourself at home while I find an icepack and go lie down for a bit.  Knock yourself out.  

  • Click here to find out what this whole "brained" thing is all about.

  • Click here for Frequently Asked Questions.

  • Click here for Elmo's Famous Quotations page.

Update History:

  • May 17, 2008 - After being down nearly a week, my site has been moved to my friend Justin Mason's personal web server, where it will hopefully remain up for awhile.
     
  • June 2, 2006 - Finally updated my headbanging journal, filling in two previously unposted entries from last year as well as adding a humdinger story from yesterday (my head still hurts).
     
  • May 16, 2006 - Moved my site to a more reliable web hosting company, Herald Hosting.
     
  • October 17, 2004 - Fixed annoying error with several links that had stopped working when I moved the site to a new server.
     
  • July 29, 2003 - Lost much of the site due to a hard drive crash on the web server. I had a few files backed up, rescued a few from my temporary internet files cache, and rescued a few more from google's cache. A lot of the functionality is lost however. So, if you get a 404 error on a link, or a page error - that is why. I am working to rebuild it, but it will take time.
     
  • July 14, 2003 - Updated the resume! Click here if you need ASP or VB programming!
     
  • February 13, 2003 - Stay tuned for 3 brand new rants - coming soon to a brained.com website near you!
       
  • January 9, 2003 - Added no-frills table of contents to site (link at bottom left) for javascript-impaired browsers and all those web spiders that keep missing my funniest material.
    I'm in the search engines now! Yay!
     
  • January 5, 2003 - *FINALLY* got the guest book up and running!! It's on the interact page.
     
  • January 1, 2003 - Made birdies sound and "brain me" sound effects work in Netscape.
     
  • May 28, 2002 - Added 11 new photos to the gallery.
     
  • May 5, 2002 - Added ability to choose among three weapons and the capability of keeping track of how many times a visitor has hit me over the head to the popular "Brain Me" app.
     
  • May 4, 2002 - Added Elmo's Famous Quotations page.
     
  • March 18, 2002 - Added chirping birdies sound to seeing-stars rollover.
     
  • June 27, 2001 - Added "Elmo's Headbanging Journal" Section.
     
  • January 24, 2001 - Fixed bug with photos sections in non-frames version.
     
  • January 23, 2001 - Finally finished Weekly Rant section!!!
     
  • January 22, 2001 - Added FAQ page.
     
  • January 22, 2001 - Added "Brain Me" app.
     
  • January 18, 2001 - Added "Why Brained.com?" section.
     
  • January 17, 2001 - Added no-frames version and frames version.
     
  • November 4, 2000 - Resized page layout to fit smallest screen resolution. (640 x 480)
     
  • October 29, 2000 - Finished photos section - lots of new photos.
     
  • October 28, 2000 - Added knot-head "under construction" page.  Why alter a great theme?
     
  • October 25, 2000 - Added links, software, and views sections.
     
  • October 24, 2000 - Added the about section.
     
  • October 23, 2000 - Completely new facelift for the site.